They call me the Red Rocker . .

' They call me the red rocker'

I was drinking down at 'Ol Jakes Saloon one night and just before the band started to warm up I heard a gruff low voice behind me say

' they call me the red rocker' 

I thought it might be Barry Hense or at least a lookalike so I spun round , quick as a flash , but there was no one there 

It troubled me , who was this mysterious 'Red Rocker'

I got chatting with some hoodlum friends of mine and after a few slugs of hooch I forgot about it until

I had to visit the restrooms . . . . 

I was sitting there, reading my copy of 'The Dandy' which I always keep in the secret compartment of my faux leather briefcase when once again I heard the voice

'they call me the red rocker' 

I leapt up onto the loose seat and peered over the thin wall that separated me from the voice  . . 

no one - not a dicky bird

So I left him to his own resources

 . . . . . . . . 

Now we jump ahead in time

Three years have elapsed 

I'm sitting in a monastery as I have become a Monk

I am in a trance when suddenly I hear the voice again 

'They called me the Red Rocker'

Quick as a flash I open the door of the trance and get out - I runs down the pavement towards the haberdashery store - I take a left , a right , another right then straight on for 220 yards then take the third exit onto the motorway until I had reached my destination 

I was back at Ol Jakes Saloon 

and there was Ol Jake himself - much younger than I had actually imagined him 

He looked me in the eye and said 

'It is time , time for you to know the secret of the Red Rocker'

then he died

To this day I have not known the answer to the mystery although one of my friends, Alan, did let it slip that he had a portable cassette player and would play pranks on people sometimes involving strange messages .

But I'm delighted to let you know we have this last Les Paul Studio - the one they call - oh what is it again  . . .damn